Traffic Jam

Red.

Leo gripped the steering wheel tightly with his left hand, his fingers constantly moving to the beat of the radio music. His right hand was resting hesitantly on the gear, his sweaty palm swirling around the shiny, gray ball. He caught one second to do a quick-hair-brush-up-and-sideway-flip styling, and then he immediately turned his eyes on the windshield. Tiny balls of clear heaven-water were now already starting to splatter on the clear glass. As the splashing droplets crash upon the car, they cast shadows upon the white, smooth face of the girl sitting in the passenger seat. She rested calmly on the leather seat, her oval head lying softly, her jet black hair flowing like black water against the bright pink pillow. Her shut eyes started opening like a bud of flower starting to bloom. Rachel had awaken.

Leo—amazed at the figure he was looking at—gulped. He quickly looked away from Rachel, trying to avoid any eye contact. As he wishfully visualizes in his mind the angelic, breathtaking, exquisite face of the girl he was previously staring at, he can’t help but give a breezy (and loud) sigh. From his face emerged tiny droplets of sweat, his mouth was starting to dry up, his lips refused to open up, his tongue stiffened. Suddenly, he was breathless.

He wanted to speak out, tell her everything he wanted to say, everything he has kept for the past three years, everything he felt—his deepest longing for her. He has already grown tired of the late-night-talks about her boyfriends, her friendly kiss-on-the-cheeks, and her comforting pats-on-the-back . He just wanted to simply place his hands on her white, silky cheeks, run them on her soft, majestic hair, and hold her perfect body close to his. He slightly turned sideways, his head brought closer to hers, his eyes staring still at the girl in front of her. He was ready to finally tell her everything.

Green.

Thoughts and More Thoughts

There's nothing to write, yet I'm still writing. My mind puts in the stuff. I'm letting my mind feel instead of letting it think.

A song.

A mirror. I see my reflection, yet I can't see a lot of things.

A roll of tissue.

My cellphone. It's quite old and it has an awfully scratched case, but it's special.

"I was inviting her into my heart..."

It's 11:50 in the evening. I should be sleeping right now but I can't.

The night is humid. I want to turn on my air conditioner but it'll ruin the environment. Will it help? I don't know. Perhaps. A little thing might be of great significance in the long run.

I'm scratching my head. No, I already scratched my head because if i were scratching my head, i'd have a hard time typing. It's incredibly itchy.

Scratch again.

My room's messy. But I love the mess. Let it sulk in for just some time.

I'm in pain, but I don't know why.

Frustration

"Okay. I feel like one of those people who's so freakin' miserable, they can't be around normal people...like I'll infect the happy people..."

-Meredith Grey

Brain Dead

Tell me, who needs sleep when you can work and study all day and all night?

Life has never been this boring. Everyday is a never-ending cycle of monotonous and similar activities. I'm beginning to hate my life (emo much?)

I need a vacation. or a cup of coffee. I need love. (desperate much?)

And by the way, remember the time when I said I was going to have a heavenly and chillax sem?

What was I thinking?

====================

So much for a blog entry. I'm worthless.

HEAVEN SEM

If Someone up there is listening...

I thought you wanted me to stay. I thought the reason why I never got into psych is because you wanted me to stay and find a purpose in whatever I'm doing right now.

That I accepted. And though I may have held a grudge with that little plan of Yours, I finally accepted what You wanted.

Now this.

You don't want me to get my subjects. MAJORS, my goodness. Why? Just tell me why.
You know, sometimes I don't really get You. A little help would have sufficed. And I will willingly go with what you planned. But no, I guess you're as numb as I thought you were in the past. You can't even help me in the littlest of my problems.

If by any chance, you're reading this or even hearing my thoughts, i'm begging you. Please, help me.

It's 4:00 AM

and I'm still wide awake.

No, it's not because of my self-diagnosed insomnia. You see, my family agreed that we'll go to Baguio because of the long weekend. It's a father-side family gathering-cum-getaway. Anyway, I think it's good for me because I'll be able to breathe another kind of air--a more polluted one.

Urban life is killing me. I'm so freaking bored but I don't want the 2nd sem to start yet--because I'm still lacking 2 majors and a PE. CRS sucks and it hates me big time.

It's amazing you know, how I manage to keep this blog updated even though I have no idea if someone's reading it. Yeah, another one of those self-centered egoistic thoughts. Never mind this senseless bunch of crap.

By the by, my birthday's coming up. Happy 18th Birthday to me. Yay!

COCONUTs in Laguna

So there. Went to Laguna last Oct. 13 and 14 with my lovable COCONUT blockmates. We stayed at Cyrus' archaic-yet-adorable mansion and slept at around 5:30 a.m. Ate Pipian (tastier version of Kare-Kare), Espasol and uber-sarap Halo-Halo. Took a ride in Cyrus' Expedition a.k.a Optimus Prime. Arrived in Manila at about 4:30 p.m. Went home and finished my papers

Picture taken at: Pagsanjan Lodge, Oct. 13, 2007. Talk about impromptu swimming trips. XD

Who lives in a Pineapple under the Sea?

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS~!

Believe it or not, this little yellow sponge is the cause of my laziness.
I AM SO GONNA BE DEAD tomorrow.

Thou shall keep thy blog simple

I'm not complacent with my blog. It's too...hmmm..simple.
It's so, so...so not me.

God: That's human nature, Nikoz. Try to remember that.
Nikoz: oh. damn it. This is why free will is such a bad idea.
God: Yeah. I guess. But I just can't erase all of your memory and take away your free will
Nikoz: Why not?
God: Because life would be so damn boring
Nikoz: Yeah. Figured that would be the downside of it.

Second Sem is Suicidal

Up there is my schedule for my 2nd year 2nd sem in UP. 21 Units. CWTS 2. PE and the org. I know-- I am gonna die for sure. Tuesdays--no break! What the..?!

Tuesday lang naman, eh. Yeah. And the higher batches told me that I can eat during CD 11 (read: T 8:30-11:30) and CWTS 2 (read: TF 2:30-4). Plus, my subjects are all BLAH! except for Bio 11 which is difficult daw. Haaaaaay.

Goodluck to me.

'Stressed' is a special kind of Palindrome because... [Edited]

...when you read it backwards, it's spelled and read as DESSERTS! Well, you probably know that already. However...

Did you know that there are two kinds of stress?

The stress that prepares you for the challenges that lie ahead is called Eustress and its harmful counterpart is what we call Distress. So the next time you feel the pressure of your acads, don't tell me that you're stressed. Specify, my friend. Distressed is more medically correct.

You didn't know that, did you?

I know. It's geeeeeky. And I'm hyper as usual. Probably because of hyperglycemia or too much glycolysis because of all the sugary foods I ate. Oh no, I'm doing it again. HAHAHA.

Gotta split. The love of my life is waiting for me. Oh wait, I forgot, I don't have one! Boo. For now, it's all about Chemistry.

Who hates Grade School?

In the midst of my preparation for an exam in a major subject, I stopped for a while because of a sudden flashback. That whirlpool of images and memories were like rapid water from an open dam. I remembered my grade school days.

You see, I never liked grade school. Yes, that part of a student's life where he starts to gain new friends and build up his self-esteem and social skills. That stage where real education starts. That awfully long and dull phase of your life where you begin. I never liked it.

In those 6 boring years of purely academics and honors and books, I would find myself in a secluded bubble. I was an outcast. My "friends" would never invite me to their parties or they never let me join them for lunch. Grade school life was just a blur image of mean girls who were experts when it comes to backstabbing and all that jazz. Even the advisers were sucky.

Lucky enough, I found..hmm. companions. Yes, temporary buddies who would share their sinfully boring stories or would not be invited in parties just like me. I was a part of the geek circle.

I may have some unresolved grudge to whatever happened in my grade school life. But it's not entirely my fault. This is the reason why I completely abandoned everything that happened in grade school. And this is the reason why I don't want to attend to reunions or whatnots.

High school was a different chapter. Much better than the horrendous phase that was grade school.

Vacation Crap

First of all, I shall thank Mother Nature for giving the students a 6-day vacation. Although, I feel sorry for those who have died or suffered from the recent super typhoon, I cannot deny the fact that I was ecstatic about the long weekend that we all had.

Secondly, yes, I had fun. Guys, you should watch Heroes. It's compelling. It made me stay up until 6 am in the morning! And you should all take a vacation once in a while. Spend time with your friends--a little bowling, perhaps.

And last, I really learned an important lesson this week--NEVER EVER PROCRASTINATE. It never brings about good effects or outcomes. For the past 4 days of vacation, I have done nothing but slack off, go to a amll and drink from what i can say as an "infinite supply of alcohol".

The result? Nothing big. Just an inch thick of readings for an exam the following day, 5 chapters for an exam on Wednesday, a research outline for a biochem report and 2 bulky chapters of anatomy and physiology.

Right now, I'm doing it again. MAKE ME STOP, PLEASE.

Endless

Things to for this week (July 22-July 28)

1. Review for Chem 40.1 Midterms
2. Finish Maikling Kwento # 2
(note: PM me if you want to read it. wala lang. if you're bored. =D )
3. Review for Chem 1 quiz
4. Finish FR # 4 (YAY!)
. Finish FR # 5
6. Review (with passion..naks) for FN 14 to...
7. ...prove something to my prof (revenge is mine!!!)
8. Review for Chem 40 quizzes to...
9. Beat that sucky girl (Again, REVENGE! HAHAHA)
10. Attend General cleaning in PMHS
11. Make report for Art Stud 1
12. Review for FN11 (because i sucked so much during the 1st exam..boo)

Others
13. Watch HP5
14. Watch transformers
15. Gain buddy bonding points
16. Get a copy of HP7 (DOUBLE YAY! )
17. Read it (TRIPLE YAY!)
18. Haircut

=================================

Yes, I finally had a haircut. My hair is A LOT shorter na. Waaah. Longer than my HS haircut but shorter than my previous hair..LABO.

But it feels fresher and more comfy. And I think I like it. I look like a real person na.

WHAT NOW?

Something's wrong with blogger.

Samson

Good verses from the Song 'Samson' by Regina Spektor.
NICE NICE NICE.

BIOCHEM=MADNESS

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first
I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go,
I have to go.

...and the history books forgot about us,
and the bible didn't mention us;
and the bible didn't mention us...
not even once.

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first
I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But they're just old lights...
they're just old lights.

All Work and No Play...

...is just plain CRAZEEEE

To-do list:
1. FR # 3 in Chem 40.1
2. FR # 4 in Chem 40.1
3. FN 11 Article Reflection and Plating plans
4. Prob Set # 3 in Chem 1
5. Maikling Kwento # 2 in MPs 10
6. 3 Readings in MPs 10
7. Review for Chem 40 1st exam
8. Review for FN 11 1st exam
9. Pre-lab for expt 5 in Chem 40.1
10. Review for FN 14 quiz
11. Complete tambay hours in PMHS
12. Start tambay hours in PAN-Alpha
13. Write GPOA for PMHS

14. Watch Transformers
15. Watch HP 5
16. Watch Simpson's the Movie
17. Reread 'Kafka on the Shore'
18. Read 'Other Side of the Midnight'
19. Have lunch with Dianers and Hotness

At first, I thought freshman year was already the most difficult stage of my college life. Now, everything's starting to defy that statement. 19 units, I can handle...

But 20 units + 2 orgs + PE (Sports Climbing) + CWTS is just TOO MUCH.

Is it supposed to be THIS hard?

Shallow Shatterbrain Shentiments

The one thing I like about senseless things is that you don't have to complicate things up for the sake of understanding them.

I am an avid television maniac--that I can admit. On weekends, when I have to choose between studying and watching TV, I'd opt for the latter. There are times when I would just click the remote control and turn in to any channel that I like--I don't look for the substantial whatnots. I watch the things I like, be it a cooking show, a hollywood blockbuster or even just the flimsiest Filipino love teams with their nonstop 'pa-cute' and 'pa-tweetums'.

But above all these things, I am very inclined to watching "foreign made-slash-Pinoy rip-off" reality shows. Pinoy Big Brother, Pinoy Dream Academy, Starstruck...name it. There is a mighty chance that I've probably watched almost all of them.

And being the "reality" (yes, with the air quotes in real life!!!) show fanatic that I am, I must admit that these shows really defy the definition of reality. I can say for the nth number of times that there are prepared 'blueprints' for all of them.

Now why do I insist on torturing myself by watching the same people over and over again, when in the end, I'd have the bursting speculation that everything was planned out? It's simple--because I like watching them. This is what makes these shows become more 'entertaining'. They can kill the bleeding guts out of you even if you're not personally in contact with them.

I have heard some people say that the people who join these contests are just making a fool out of themselves. That they're just desperate for exposure. I cannot say that that's not true. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't.
The thing is, for some people, they LIKE to watch that sort of crap--even if that likeness drives them to shell out their money to vote for their bets.

I for one, have voted in the recently aired PBB Season 2; even if I said earlier on my past entries that doing this would be completely pointless. If you're going to ask why then my answer is that because I feel like it. Screw the money-making agenda of the management...the thought of "being able to make your bet win" is just more exciting.

Yes, it's foolish, not to mention the fact that it all comes down to the realization that people who do watch and vote can be considered shallow. But it's entertainment, for crying out loud! Do I really have to be that deep just to be entertained?

I don't want to debunk or go against other people's opinions--because I don't think it's intelligent for one to do so. They are entitled to give theirs. But just like them, I too, have my own sentiments. Raising a point different from yours is not wrong, in fact, it's normal. The thought of watching PBB 2 and other "reality" shows maybe pathetic, but not all those who do watch them are stupid.

Being opinionated does not mean neglecting your responsibilities when you share them, and probably, it's a tough job to draw the line between it and being tactless.

I got a good line from "charlie and the chocolate factory" which may sum up all of these ramblings that i just talked about...

Mike: "Why does everything here have to be so pointless?"
Charlie: "...because it doesn't have to have a point."

Redundance: Redemption

I am so depressed. My grade freak alter ego is shouting from the pain and frustration.

But I'm going to redeem myself. No more whining and ranting--I think I overused those words already. My new inspirational word: REDEEM.

Redeem thyself, Nikoz. Redeem. Redeem. Redeem.