HEAVEN SEM

If Someone up there is listening...

I thought you wanted me to stay. I thought the reason why I never got into psych is because you wanted me to stay and find a purpose in whatever I'm doing right now.

That I accepted. And though I may have held a grudge with that little plan of Yours, I finally accepted what You wanted.

Now this.

You don't want me to get my subjects. MAJORS, my goodness. Why? Just tell me why.
You know, sometimes I don't really get You. A little help would have sufficed. And I will willingly go with what you planned. But no, I guess you're as numb as I thought you were in the past. You can't even help me in the littlest of my problems.

If by any chance, you're reading this or even hearing my thoughts, i'm begging you. Please, help me.

It's 4:00 AM

and I'm still wide awake.

No, it's not because of my self-diagnosed insomnia. You see, my family agreed that we'll go to Baguio because of the long weekend. It's a father-side family gathering-cum-getaway. Anyway, I think it's good for me because I'll be able to breathe another kind of air--a more polluted one.

Urban life is killing me. I'm so freaking bored but I don't want the 2nd sem to start yet--because I'm still lacking 2 majors and a PE. CRS sucks and it hates me big time.

It's amazing you know, how I manage to keep this blog updated even though I have no idea if someone's reading it. Yeah, another one of those self-centered egoistic thoughts. Never mind this senseless bunch of crap.

By the by, my birthday's coming up. Happy 18th Birthday to me. Yay!

COCONUTs in Laguna

So there. Went to Laguna last Oct. 13 and 14 with my lovable COCONUT blockmates. We stayed at Cyrus' archaic-yet-adorable mansion and slept at around 5:30 a.m. Ate Pipian (tastier version of Kare-Kare), Espasol and uber-sarap Halo-Halo. Took a ride in Cyrus' Expedition a.k.a Optimus Prime. Arrived in Manila at about 4:30 p.m. Went home and finished my papers

Picture taken at: Pagsanjan Lodge, Oct. 13, 2007. Talk about impromptu swimming trips. XD

Who lives in a Pineapple under the Sea?

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS~!

Believe it or not, this little yellow sponge is the cause of my laziness.
I AM SO GONNA BE DEAD tomorrow.

Thou shall keep thy blog simple

I'm not complacent with my blog. It's too...hmmm..simple.
It's so, so...so not me.

God: That's human nature, Nikoz. Try to remember that.
Nikoz: oh. damn it. This is why free will is such a bad idea.
God: Yeah. I guess. But I just can't erase all of your memory and take away your free will
Nikoz: Why not?
God: Because life would be so damn boring
Nikoz: Yeah. Figured that would be the downside of it.

Second Sem is Suicidal

Up there is my schedule for my 2nd year 2nd sem in UP. 21 Units. CWTS 2. PE and the org. I know-- I am gonna die for sure. Tuesdays--no break! What the..?!

Tuesday lang naman, eh. Yeah. And the higher batches told me that I can eat during CD 11 (read: T 8:30-11:30) and CWTS 2 (read: TF 2:30-4). Plus, my subjects are all BLAH! except for Bio 11 which is difficult daw. Haaaaaay.

Goodluck to me.

'Stressed' is a special kind of Palindrome because... [Edited]

...when you read it backwards, it's spelled and read as DESSERTS! Well, you probably know that already. However...

Did you know that there are two kinds of stress?

The stress that prepares you for the challenges that lie ahead is called Eustress and its harmful counterpart is what we call Distress. So the next time you feel the pressure of your acads, don't tell me that you're stressed. Specify, my friend. Distressed is more medically correct.

You didn't know that, did you?

I know. It's geeeeeky. And I'm hyper as usual. Probably because of hyperglycemia or too much glycolysis because of all the sugary foods I ate. Oh no, I'm doing it again. HAHAHA.

Gotta split. The love of my life is waiting for me. Oh wait, I forgot, I don't have one! Boo. For now, it's all about Chemistry.

Who hates Grade School?

In the midst of my preparation for an exam in a major subject, I stopped for a while because of a sudden flashback. That whirlpool of images and memories were like rapid water from an open dam. I remembered my grade school days.

You see, I never liked grade school. Yes, that part of a student's life where he starts to gain new friends and build up his self-esteem and social skills. That stage where real education starts. That awfully long and dull phase of your life where you begin. I never liked it.

In those 6 boring years of purely academics and honors and books, I would find myself in a secluded bubble. I was an outcast. My "friends" would never invite me to their parties or they never let me join them for lunch. Grade school life was just a blur image of mean girls who were experts when it comes to backstabbing and all that jazz. Even the advisers were sucky.

Lucky enough, I found..hmm. companions. Yes, temporary buddies who would share their sinfully boring stories or would not be invited in parties just like me. I was a part of the geek circle.

I may have some unresolved grudge to whatever happened in my grade school life. But it's not entirely my fault. This is the reason why I completely abandoned everything that happened in grade school. And this is the reason why I don't want to attend to reunions or whatnots.

High school was a different chapter. Much better than the horrendous phase that was grade school.

Vacation Crap

First of all, I shall thank Mother Nature for giving the students a 6-day vacation. Although, I feel sorry for those who have died or suffered from the recent super typhoon, I cannot deny the fact that I was ecstatic about the long weekend that we all had.

Secondly, yes, I had fun. Guys, you should watch Heroes. It's compelling. It made me stay up until 6 am in the morning! And you should all take a vacation once in a while. Spend time with your friends--a little bowling, perhaps.

And last, I really learned an important lesson this week--NEVER EVER PROCRASTINATE. It never brings about good effects or outcomes. For the past 4 days of vacation, I have done nothing but slack off, go to a amll and drink from what i can say as an "infinite supply of alcohol".

The result? Nothing big. Just an inch thick of readings for an exam the following day, 5 chapters for an exam on Wednesday, a research outline for a biochem report and 2 bulky chapters of anatomy and physiology.

Right now, I'm doing it again. MAKE ME STOP, PLEASE.

Endless

Things to for this week (July 22-July 28)

1. Review for Chem 40.1 Midterms
2. Finish Maikling Kwento # 2
(note: PM me if you want to read it. wala lang. if you're bored. =D )
3. Review for Chem 1 quiz
4. Finish FR # 4 (YAY!)
. Finish FR # 5
6. Review (with passion..naks) for FN 14 to...
7. ...prove something to my prof (revenge is mine!!!)
8. Review for Chem 40 quizzes to...
9. Beat that sucky girl (Again, REVENGE! HAHAHA)
10. Attend General cleaning in PMHS
11. Make report for Art Stud 1
12. Review for FN11 (because i sucked so much during the 1st exam..boo)

Others
13. Watch HP5
14. Watch transformers
15. Gain buddy bonding points
16. Get a copy of HP7 (DOUBLE YAY! )
17. Read it (TRIPLE YAY!)
18. Haircut

=================================

Yes, I finally had a haircut. My hair is A LOT shorter na. Waaah. Longer than my HS haircut but shorter than my previous hair..LABO.

But it feels fresher and more comfy. And I think I like it. I look like a real person na.

WHAT NOW?

Something's wrong with blogger.

Samson

Good verses from the Song 'Samson' by Regina Spektor.
NICE NICE NICE.

BIOCHEM=MADNESS

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first
I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go,
I have to go.

...and the history books forgot about us,
and the bible didn't mention us;
and the bible didn't mention us...
not even once.

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first
I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But they're just old lights...
they're just old lights.

All Work and No Play...

...is just plain CRAZEEEE

To-do list:
1. FR # 3 in Chem 40.1
2. FR # 4 in Chem 40.1
3. FN 11 Article Reflection and Plating plans
4. Prob Set # 3 in Chem 1
5. Maikling Kwento # 2 in MPs 10
6. 3 Readings in MPs 10
7. Review for Chem 40 1st exam
8. Review for FN 11 1st exam
9. Pre-lab for expt 5 in Chem 40.1
10. Review for FN 14 quiz
11. Complete tambay hours in PMHS
12. Start tambay hours in PAN-Alpha
13. Write GPOA for PMHS

14. Watch Transformers
15. Watch HP 5
16. Watch Simpson's the Movie
17. Reread 'Kafka on the Shore'
18. Read 'Other Side of the Midnight'
19. Have lunch with Dianers and Hotness

At first, I thought freshman year was already the most difficult stage of my college life. Now, everything's starting to defy that statement. 19 units, I can handle...

But 20 units + 2 orgs + PE (Sports Climbing) + CWTS is just TOO MUCH.

Is it supposed to be THIS hard?

Shallow Shatterbrain Shentiments

The one thing I like about senseless things is that you don't have to complicate things up for the sake of understanding them.

I am an avid television maniac--that I can admit. On weekends, when I have to choose between studying and watching TV, I'd opt for the latter. There are times when I would just click the remote control and turn in to any channel that I like--I don't look for the substantial whatnots. I watch the things I like, be it a cooking show, a hollywood blockbuster or even just the flimsiest Filipino love teams with their nonstop 'pa-cute' and 'pa-tweetums'.

But above all these things, I am very inclined to watching "foreign made-slash-Pinoy rip-off" reality shows. Pinoy Big Brother, Pinoy Dream Academy, Starstruck...name it. There is a mighty chance that I've probably watched almost all of them.

And being the "reality" (yes, with the air quotes in real life!!!) show fanatic that I am, I must admit that these shows really defy the definition of reality. I can say for the nth number of times that there are prepared 'blueprints' for all of them.

Now why do I insist on torturing myself by watching the same people over and over again, when in the end, I'd have the bursting speculation that everything was planned out? It's simple--because I like watching them. This is what makes these shows become more 'entertaining'. They can kill the bleeding guts out of you even if you're not personally in contact with them.

I have heard some people say that the people who join these contests are just making a fool out of themselves. That they're just desperate for exposure. I cannot say that that's not true. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't.
The thing is, for some people, they LIKE to watch that sort of crap--even if that likeness drives them to shell out their money to vote for their bets.

I for one, have voted in the recently aired PBB Season 2; even if I said earlier on my past entries that doing this would be completely pointless. If you're going to ask why then my answer is that because I feel like it. Screw the money-making agenda of the management...the thought of "being able to make your bet win" is just more exciting.

Yes, it's foolish, not to mention the fact that it all comes down to the realization that people who do watch and vote can be considered shallow. But it's entertainment, for crying out loud! Do I really have to be that deep just to be entertained?

I don't want to debunk or go against other people's opinions--because I don't think it's intelligent for one to do so. They are entitled to give theirs. But just like them, I too, have my own sentiments. Raising a point different from yours is not wrong, in fact, it's normal. The thought of watching PBB 2 and other "reality" shows maybe pathetic, but not all those who do watch them are stupid.

Being opinionated does not mean neglecting your responsibilities when you share them, and probably, it's a tough job to draw the line between it and being tactless.

I got a good line from "charlie and the chocolate factory" which may sum up all of these ramblings that i just talked about...

Mike: "Why does everything here have to be so pointless?"
Charlie: "...because it doesn't have to have a point."

Redundance: Redemption

I am so depressed. My grade freak alter ego is shouting from the pain and frustration.

But I'm going to redeem myself. No more whining and ranting--I think I overused those words already. My new inspirational word: REDEEM.

Redeem thyself, Nikoz. Redeem. Redeem. Redeem.

3 days to go!

Can't.Fully.Describe.Her.

I honestly (against my will and wishful thinking) think that she'll be in the Big 4--and worse, be hailed as the Big Winner of PBB Season 2.

Protected by the Management. Wanted by the poor and underclass citizens for her ridiclously 'real' character. And most importantly, secured by the precursor of the show--Laurenti Dyogi, himself.


If this, to my utmost horror, happens, I swear I would never watch anything, I mean ANYTHING that ABS-CBN will show. It would be my own form of 'boycotting'. Why would I do this? Because the network sucks big time. I'm not a stupid viewer--please.


I really hope that either G-Ann, Mickey or Bea takes the spot and the title. My bet is G-Ann and even though the whole nation might not agree with this because she's rich and she doesn't need the money, I'd still root for her.

The thing is, she showed what and who she really is--may that be that weak and passive girl who's always bullied by everyone or that logical and rational lady who did her best to surpass all the tasks that were given.

But I don't think she needs my vote. I really think Mickey is in the danger zone. And I also think that there's nothing we can do about it.

And please, stop this G-Ann--Bodie fuss. I can't stand the 'kabakyaan' of Bodie and his irritating catchphrase, "WHAAAT?!". Please, stop this nonsense.

Congratulations...

... Mark Conanan for winning P100.00** , for answering all the questions correctly~! *applause*

The happiest country/place on Earth is pacific island Vanuatu. [link]
The scientific name of Milkfish or Bangus is Chanos chanos. [link]
The capital of Madagascar is Antananarivo. [link]

I'll hand over the prize on Friday, June 29, 2007. I'll verify first the source for the answer to the 2nd question. The 3rd answer won't be accepted because of the use of internet as a source (I'm the only one who's allowed to use it as a source. HAHA.) But other than that, CONGRATULATIONS Mark~!

Still at stake

ALRIGHT. I give up. Maybe you're not interested or maybe my game was too hard.

It's 'Villa Quintan(/ñ)a' for god's sake--aired in 1995 in Channel 7 starring Donna Cruz, Keempee De Leon and some other artists that you wouldn't give a damn about.

I am not creating another game. Now I realized it's pointless when it doesn't even have the capability to hook up the interest of the readers.




NAH. Screw it. I am creating another game. HAHA
Prize is still 150 bucks and deadline is on June 29, 2007, 9:00 p.m.

The game's easy. All you have to do is answer these questions:

For P50.00: What is the capital of Madagascar?
For another P50.o0: Name the Top 1 Happiest Country/Place in the World
For another P50.00: What is the scientific name (Genus and Species) of Milkfish or 'Bangus'?

First one to answer any of the 3 questions correctly wins the corresponding prize. Enjoy~!

remember?

Since the hundred bucks is still waiting to crawl to its rightful master, I have thought of a new game. It's quite simple and it's very objective.

The Rules? No internet stuff. You can't browse the answer on the net. And, How will I know?

Here's the format (can be texted, encoded as comment or shouted at the cbox)

Name/ answer/ answer to bonus question/ source

( SOURCES: name of the person you asked, channel where you were able to watch it or any printed material you used. BE HONEST.)

Question: What was the name of the primetime telenovela shown before the news program in Channel 7 starring Donna Cruz, Keempee De Leon, Isabel Granada, Onemig Bondoc, etc.?

NO cheating please. Prize money is still P100. It will be given to the first person who will be able to answer the question correctly. Deadline is on June 21, 2007, 9:00 p.m.

WAIT! A bonus prize of P50 will be given to the first person who can state the year it was aired. (DON't use the INTERNET. please.) If you don't have any of the aforementioned sources, a wild guess will suffice.

Dead Air

Aww. No one even dared to answer. I was dead serious when I wrote that I was willing to give out a hundred bucks to whoever could give the most appropriate answer.

It's either my readers are ridiculously rich or they just didn't care. I'm guessing it's the latter.

Very well, personally I think Edu Manzano deserves the last spot in my quiz. Were you able to watch "Batang PX"? He nailed that one.

If you thought of Christopher De Leon, you won't win (unless you're the only one who guessed). IDK. I don't think spitting and monotony count as 'good acting'. Also, not Cesar Montano. Marvin Agustin might've worked.

the emo era

click to see the other version

it's a perfect time to be EMO-ish. the dark room, the cold sensation brought about by the brief rain and the deafening silence.

i honestly don't know what emo means. if it's the way you dress or that gothic lines under your eyes, i don't know. other people just term themselves as such. and other people will consider you 'un-cool' if you're not one.

Irony

i don't know what to feel or how i should feel.

i went to school today to enrol and luckily, i got all my subjects. I mean, sophomore year and you get all the subjects you need? People would consider that a miracle.

But then I saw and talked to people who were able to shift or transfer to the courses they want. They're experiencing trouble with enrolment and barely got enlisted in their subjects. I could just feel so blessed and proud of myself, but I feel otherwise. If I could trade places with these people, I would, but then again, I simply cannot. I had my chance and I blew it.

Such irony. Just imagine a deep wound with a temporary bandage and a shallow one which heals after a short while even without any covering.

Define 'Good'

Today I put another piece of crap to my towering pile of crime. I have sinfully enjoyed the swimming party with my HS friends and I didn't even ask permission to attend to it.

Talk about being a good son.

(Photo: stolen from Yvette's Multiply.
From left to right: Charlyn Gonda, Bentong, Jelleeh Rivera, Jamie 'Mahalay' Sanchez and Anne Rose 'Jehoga' Gamboa. Picture taken last June 2, 2007 at St. Charbel Clubhouse during the 4-Matulungin get-together-cum-reunion-cum-bonding.)

Do not Disturb the Little Geek

I think I'm insomniac. No, really, kidding aside. I can't sleep at night and my mom won't allow me to drink sleeping pills or drowsing drugs because she is so paranoid.

Anyway, since I'm bored to death and have done nothing 'productive' for the last 12 hours that I am awake, I decided to write and hopefully be of more worth than just slacking off or watching TV. But I can't think of a nice and entertaining topic so....hmm..let me ponder about it for a minute or so..

*bangs head on the computer monitor*

Oh right~! You're a reader. You don't know what I went through in order to think of a topic. And by the way, while your having fun glaring at your screen and eating your sweet snack, I am here overly irritated by the presence of my dad in my room. More people, less brain power, remember?

I just hate it when my room's crowded. Not that I don't want people in my room. No...do come in if you please. BUT, SERIOUSLY, COMING IN HERE WHILE I'M BUSY--you might as well wish that you were dead.

Oh yeah, I remember the reason why he's like this. He and my mom are currently in some sort of a fight. (Lovers' quarrel? Puh-lease.)

GOING BACK to my room. Yes, it's a bit irritating when finally I find the time to consider myself busy and then people come barging right in like they don't give a damn.

That's technically correct. They don't care. BUT CMON. A little consideration and a pinch of sensitivity might help. I'm in the middle of something here. SCRAM~!

I am so PMS-ing right now... and I don't even menstruate.

I PASSED~!

holy mother of all crap~! is this true?

I PASSED CHEM 31~! Organic Chem is over. officially over. YAHOO.
no more functional groups, or amino acids, or zwitterions. SRSLY.

im still thinking about being disapproved of shifting to Psych, though. boo. PATHETIC me. CMON. get over it, nikoz. healing brush. healing brush. healing brush.

i wish life was a big photoshop//editing software.

###

it's starting to rain again. cold nights. it feels nice to cuddle up with your pillow and be lazy like that. sometimes, i don't want to get up. no, seriously.

just needed a little time to hibernate

i realized that my poems are a little crappy and in fact, monotonous. sorry. i was addicted to rhyme and free expression back then. next time i'll write a poem, i am assuring you of a good one. please bear with the horrendous archives and past entries.

EVERYONE, nikoz is back in the game.

Moving on..

'Real' sleepingshadows blog closed.

Anyway, i'll be posting all loads of crap here. Surveys, poems and other things that won't be a portal of deranged thoughts and endless rants.